"I suppose it's like the Titanic. The iceberg was real, but the ship was just a ship."
Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.
Speech is a kind of action, and our words are the tools we use to perform it.